A most remarkable occurrence

There are moments in your life when the universe seems to smile on you with all of its glory. I do not know what I’ve done to deserve such an event (can such a thing be earned? I really have my doubts.), but recently I have been the beneficiary of something wonderful and truly remarkable. Let me explain.

As most of my friends know I was adopted at birth. The story I had of my birth mother was a sad one. It left me reluctant to search for my birth family after the death of the last member of my adoptive family. I did try contacting the state where I was born, but they basically told me to get lost. Later I found a document left to me by my adoptive family with a name on it. I used several internet search resources and located someone that I felt sure must have known my mother. However, thoughts of my birth story left me with the feeling that I would be the last person on the planet that they would want to hear from. Time passed, I never made that phone call.

Then with the suddenness of a bolt out of the blue my life changed forever. I received a call from a child welfare case worker from the state where I was born. Turns out I have a sister that I never knew about and she was looking for me! It’s a long story, but basically she was also adopted at birth and went looking for her birth family. She found a mother, father, and two brothers who told her about another missing sister. The search took several years, but find me they did.

We’ve had a ‘family reunion’ (that’s why I have not posted anything for a couple of weeks) and everything went well. We are geographically scattered (what family isn’t these days), but with e-mail and phone calls we can stay in touch. I now have health information on my parents and grandparents. I have a sister, brothers, mother, niece and nephews. What a wonderful gift.

We met with the case worker who did all the work. She asked that I let people know that there are services out there for families and individuals. If you were adopted, if you put someone up for adoption, or if someone in your family was put up for adoption, you can get help and information. I had talked to the wrong department but my sister did not. Every state has a child welfare department. That is the place to start. Even if all you want is some medical information, you should contact the state you were born or adopted in. While the search may take years (mine did), the majority of the cases have happy endings (like mine).

Believe me, I wish now I’d made that phone call years ago (I did have the right phone number as it turns out). I missed out on meeting my father and lost several years of knowing my family – these are things I will regret the rest of my life. If you or someone you know was adopted, please don’t wait. A couple of simple phone calls to a child welfare department could change your or their life forever.

One last thing: don’t bother with expensive and private search agencies. The case worker told us that most of those people contact the child welfare departments to find the person/family. Save the money for the reunion, just contact the state yourself.